Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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