no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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