This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i think im in europe. pls send help
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
