never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
