I'm really into asian looking animals
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
