There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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