you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
