Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
