I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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