I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
