Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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