I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
