The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want to make a zoo with you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
