grandma shit on top of the toilet
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
