There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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