you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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