but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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