I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
