just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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