the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
