did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
