Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
