I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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