Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
