I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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