He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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