butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I accidentally had phone sex last night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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