Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
