look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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