whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
