This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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