ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
