i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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