is your mom at the bar?
I want to have your abortion
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize