im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
