Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
ttyl tear gas
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
