i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
