No, drunk sperm still make babies.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
