why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
