i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
