I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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