I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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