Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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