You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She announced her abortion via fbk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
