OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
