i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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