we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
