Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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