I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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