I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
