he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
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I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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