You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
