Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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