allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
