imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had to cum in my sink.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
