long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
