I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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