he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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