My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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