I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
