My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
