dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize