I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
