Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

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(757): View more from Virginia

im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?

(804): View more from Virginia

who says it cant be both...

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

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(785): View more from Kansas

Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

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(801): View more from Utah

You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.

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(654): View more from

And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?

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(714): View more from California

Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.

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