I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
time to smoke my breakfast
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
