I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
