My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
