Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
