That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize