i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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